Last week for spring break, my lacrosse teammates and I traveled to Florida on a coach bus to start our 2015 season. We must have brought some of the dreary Erie weather because it rained the first two days we were there – at least we were eased into the temperature change.
Every year, we travel down to Florida to play against two teams and then we stop at one school on our way back.
This was my third time traveling down with my team, but for some reason this time felt different. Usually, I am extremely excited to go and get away from the cold weather and soak up some rays, but I was feeling a little less enthusiastic this year.
The whole time I was packing, I was just thinking about everything I had to do in Erie and for school instead of focusing on the fact that I am heading to a warm state to play the sport I love. You could call my mind preoccupied, but I think I just was being hit with reality too hard.
School is stressful. Any student can attest to that, but spring break is supposed to be a time to relax and just enjoy the time off.
The whole time I was there, all I did was worry. Whether it was about my project that was due when I returned, my responsibilities as a captain for my team or the fact that I reinjured myself yet again, I was worrying.
It could be that I am just a spastic person who is always worrying, but I think it is more than that. I am not a freshman anymore just starting out – it’s the final countdown. There are only two seasons left that I can play lacrosse at a competitive level and I only have 10 months of school left to figure out what I want to do with my life.
Being down in Florida on break, with no worries and actually enjoying the sun instead of being locked in my room doing homework would have been ideal, but I think I subconsciously started to face the facts – the end is near.
Yes, that is extremely dramatic to say the end is near, but it really kind of is. I can’t enjoy the perks of making “freshman mistakes on the field,” or having eight more semesters to boost my GPA. It’s now or never almost, and my body is preparing and I haven’t realized it, until now.
I think the main reason why I wasn’t as enthusiastic about my long journey to Florida this year as I usually had been is because I knew I only had two left.
As kids we always say, “Oh I can’t wait to grow up,” and our parents would always tell us, “You’ll grow up soon enough.” I hate to admit it, but they were right.
Now, all I want is to be a kid again, wishing to grow up – not facing it head-on.
BECKY HILKER
