The Student News Site of Gannon University since 1947

THE GANNON KNIGHT

The Student News Site of Gannon University since 1947

THE GANNON KNIGHT

The Student News Site of Gannon University since 1947

THE GANNON KNIGHT

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February 23, 2024

Future decisions make or break relationship

Sometimes it’s hard to find myself. I am literally right there inside this physical mass that takes up space on earth – good space obviously.

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroad? If yes, than we are on the same page.

I feel as if I’ve made a name for myself here at Gannon, but now what?

One of my favorite movies, “Big Fish,” has a quote that has always stuck with me: “You were a big fish in a small pond.”

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That is how I feel now. I always thought a small school was good for me, but at times I feel claustrophobic. I’m the type of person who gets bored of everything after some time.

I have always dreamed of being that same fish. But in an ocean, but I’ve always been afraid of drowning.

Erie is a wonderful city and reminds me much of my hometown – Euclid, Ohio – and both have offered me remarkable opportunities, but now that I’ve taken advantage of those, what’s next? I’m thinking a bigger city or just somewhere new.

The question I am encountering right now is, “What is my purpose in life right now?” Once I figure out exactly what that is, the next thing is, am I fulfilling that purpose?

The thing that is frustrating right now is I don’t know the answer to either of those questions. This means it’s time to re-evaluate what is going on in my life – not the easiest task to undertake.

Who do you go to when you need reassurance? Many seek faith or run to a mentor, but for my crossroad, I am going to myself.

Seeking reassurance from myself makes me understand who I am better. Ultimately, no other person is reflecting my decisions except myself.

The answer I’m looking for is not something that another person can tell me, nor God – although I have gone to both.

Adult decisions are hard to take on as a young adult because at the tender age of 21, I’m barely an adult, yet not a teenager anymore. I am the key to my own success and I know my strengths and weaknesses.

Sometimes I bite off more than I can chew, but I still get by.

I feel that deep down, I know the answers to my crossroads, but just being at a halt gives me two types of emotions – relief and anxiety.

I am relieved that I have made it to that point in my life, yet anxious that I don’t know where to go from here. Although I almost always know what I want – with the execption of right now – my heart and soul take some time to get on the same page.

Neither the situation, nor the details, is what matters in the column; it is the answer that matters.

I’m just hoping that one day – hopefully soon – I will have an epiphany and my answer will be clear.

 

COLLEEN LANGHAM

[email protected]

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