Joe Knows

More than 1 1/2 months have passed since the last issue of The Gannon Knight.

And as your exclusive provider in all things sports, here is a recap of all that we missed.

Not much can happen in seven weeks anyway, can it? Let’s review some of the mundane news items that are recycled every year around this time.

  • NHL owners finally reached an agreement with the league players association early this month to end hockey’s labor dispute and begin a new, albeit, shortened season.

Instead of the regular 82-game schedule, this season will feature only 48. League officials reportedly toyed with the idea of reinstating the full schedule but decided against it when they learned an extra month of hockey this season would interfere with next year’s preseason.

  • The NFL’s coaching carousel took a wild ride, with eight teams finding new head coaches, including the Cleveland Browns’ hiring of Rob Chudzinski and the Bills appointing Doug Marrone.

But perhaps the most intriguing storyline was that of Chip Kelly, who became the Philadelphia Eagles’ coach. This came after he decided to leave Oregon, interviewed numerous times with the Browns and Eagles, decided to stay at Oregon and ultimately took the Philadelphia job.

Kelly’s indecision reached its tipping point when ESPN’s Rachel Nichols, reporting from a Hattiesburg Olive Garden, said Brett Favre told her that Kelly “should make up his mind already.”

  • In a candid interview with Oprah, Lance Armstrong admitted that he took performance-enhancing drugs during his Tour de France reign and that he has went to great lengths to cover up these actions. Armstrong told Oprah that his “mythic, perfect story was one big lie.”

In other news, Iraq did not actually have weapons of mass destruction and Truman really did beat Dewey.

  • In what turned out to be the greatest hoax since the forged golden ticket in a Wonka Bar, Manti Te’o’s girlfriend, who supposedly died of leukemia within hours of his grandmother in September, never actually existed.

For his part, Te’o is denying any involvement in the hoax, saying that he embellished details of the relationship because he was hesitant to admit they had never actually met.

According to Te’o, he and Lennay Kekua had arranged to meet in person several times, but each time Kekua canceled. Te’o also said he tried to talk to Kekua via Skype, but she refused.

With all of these warning signs, one would’ve thought Te’o might have sensed a trap. Heck, I’d be hearing Admiral Ackbar in my sleep.

  • Jim and John Harbaugh will meet on football’s biggest stage as opposing head coaches when the Ravens and 49ers meet in New Orleans on Feb. 3.

They both had to win on the road Sunday to become the first set of brothers to reach the Super Bowl.

However, they aren’t the first siblings to face off against each other in a bowl game.

That distinction would go to the Ryan brothers, who, each morning, compete in a game called Cinco De Mayo in which the first brother to down five bowls of mayonnaise wins.

 

JOE CUNEO

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