NFL lockout – who cares?

The NFL lockout is over. Well, according to U.S. District Judge Susan Nelson, it is – for now.

I was too busy digging through my sofa cushions for spare gas money to notice. 

In this balking contest between the have-a-lots and have-a-lot-mores in our American society, I have found it impossible to care.

Throwing any of your pity behind the billionaire owners or millionaire players is outrageous. If I wanted to support a group vastly overpaid and underachieving people, I would’ve contributed to a political campaign last year.

Taking sides with the NFL front office means supporting a group of 31 white guys that say splitting $4.5 billion doesn’t leave them enough money to effectively run their tentacle of modern business’ biggest monopoly.

Baloney.

There are business owners across the country who wish they’d see $140 million in capital over the next decade. It might not be enough for Arthur Blank to buy a new 100-foot yacht at the end of the year, but it is enough to pay the heating bills in the Georgia Dome.

What grinds my gears more than rich honkies trying to figure out how to make an extra buck at the expense of someone else, is the fact that the players are being painted as the victims.

That’s hogwash with a side of baloney.

I feel as bad for these multi-millionaires as I do for the Red Sox when they don’t win the World Series or Canada when it loses at hockey.

Tom Brady and company have real work-place hazards, but that only makes them like every other employee in the world. Go figure.

My blue collar coworkers at Pittsburgh Paint and Glass last summer were exposed to life-threatening conditions day in and day out, but when their contract is up they’d be lucky to split $4.5 million.

But NFL players think that because their careers are – on average – three years long, fans should jostle for a spot at the picket line with them.

I am 100 percent, unequivocally certain that I could make a conservative NFL salary of one million bucks per year for three seasons last the rest of my life. Invest smart and don’t overspend – it’s the same concept I’ve used that has made last summers’ earnings stretch until now. 

No one forced any of the players to buy a platinum-covered toilet seat or a fleet of Mercedes. 

However, if all else fails, they still have an education at a large Division I school to lean on – too bad three years in any program won’t get anyone very far.

These players, including many who jumped ship on a free college education early to make bank in the NFL, want me – a hard-working student with years of loans to pay back – to take their side in the labor dispute.

Pay back my semester bills and you have a deal.

Until then, I’ll keep digging through my couch for extra dinero. I’m just hoping a couple of quarters isn’t the only change that comes.

ZACK MCDERMOTT

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