Sunday, Fumble, Sunday

Non-sports enthusiasts usually look to commercials and food to get them through the Super Bowl, but Sunday’s proceedings also included a number of awkward celebrity moments that offered plenty of entertainment. 

Christina Aguilera wins the first viral honor for flubbing the words to the national anthem.

Instead of  “O’er the ramparts we watched,” she said, “what so proudly we watched.”

Christina should be sure to thank the camera operators with impeccable timing who flashed to two groups of military personnel right after her word slip.

Clearly X-Tina won’t be winning “Don’t Forget the Lyrics” anytime.

But someone still needs to explain the fascination powerhouse divas have with singing the national anthem like a yodeler being beaten to death by ninjas.

Christina can’t hide from her lyrics mistake, but she loves vocal running.

At least she can carry a tune, something everyone appreciated after Fergie, and the other two Black Eyed Peas nobody knows took the stage.

As the Peas descended from the sky on pedestals attached to strings, a highlight of the performance, one had to wonder why the Super Bowl couldn’t attract a more relevant act.

Was Lady Gaga too busy hunting moose for a dress to accept an offer?

Maybe the FCC was afraid her meaty outfit might come off too easily and there would be another year-long scandal about a two-second boob flash. 

The Peas started by reminding us that “tonight’s gonna be a good night,” though many Northwestern Pennsylvanians would later disagree.

Next up was “Boom Boom Pow,” which featured four massive, green, glowing arrows made up of people.

The effect was almost cool enough to keep spirits up as Fergie eviscerated “Sweet Child O’ Mine” and creepily danced on Slash.

More children had to be permanently damaged by that sight than Janet Jackson’s boob (or at the very least, their ears were hurt by Fergie’s warbling of the dying cat variety).

Usher was the second guest performer of the night. Even if Usher was lip-syncing, or using a very loud backing track, his dancing made for the most entertaining part of the show.

In the finale of “Oh My Gosh,” he jumped over to do a split.

The Peas got political by dusting off ancient “Where is the Love?”  The group felt Super Bowl was the perfect time to debut a large red “LOVE” and two hearts for decoration.

But the purpose of this number wasn’t a tribute to upcoming Valentine’s Day, something which became obvious in’s revised lyrics.

“In America we need to get things straight, Obama, let’s get these kids educated. Create jobs so the country stay stimulated.”

 It’s too bad President Obama already replaced Rahm Emanuel, because might be the best thing to happen to the White House since Taft got stuck in a bathtub.

Plus, Christina Aguilera would be more comfortable singing about the parts she got from her mamma than the ramparts that are gallantly streaming. 

Maybe it’s unfair to pick on Christina when another pretty blonde got caught shoving popcorn down her boyfriend’s gullet in the second biggest viral video of the night.

Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez became unsuspecting YouTube sensations when they were caught sharing an uncomfortable moment.

But, at least – unlike the Black Eyed Peas – they never intended it for public consumption.


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