Year in Review

Glamour girls like Grace Kelly and Katherine Hepburn would have scoffed at today’s America, which welcomes the average, the untalented and the weirdos yearning to be famous. While old school celebrities got air time, Internet sensations and reality television troupers have had their 15 minutes.

Heidi Montag started her year by unveiling a new body to People magazine on Jan. 13, shocking the world that her vapidity went 10 surgeries deep. But her decision kept the fickle flame of fame flickering, as creepy television interviews ensued where Montag talked in a whisper while keeping her newly fixed face expressionless, so it wouldn’t crumble into her newly minted G-cups.

On the other hand, January was a month of doom for talented string bean Conan O’Brien who was sent packing from NBC on Jan. 21 after weeks of speculation as to his future on “The Tonight Show.” O’Brien didn’t weep for long though, as he announced his new venture on TBS on April 12.

A once skinny, curly-haired, B-lister most famous for fleshing out coffee shop love tunes on his guitar caused controversy when he discussed the “sexual napalm” of Jessica Simpson with Playboy magazine. John Mayer apologized for his antics at a Feb. 10 concert, and at least one doe-eyed country crooner bought his apology, even if Taylor Swift later regretted her decision to give Mayer a chance.

February was certainly a month for apologies, as venerated golfer Tiger Woods’s crumbling reputation forced him to treat his soon-to-be divorced sweetheart to a televised confessional of cheating on Feb. 19.

The month of love also caused Old Spice to release “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” commercials which featured little-known Isaiah Mustafa as the spokesman for the body wash. The video, which begins with towel clad Mustafa telling women to “Look at your man,” has been parodied plenty of times, most notably by Grover of “Sesame Street.” 

America’s Sweetheart has no reason to buy that product, as March saw Sandra Bullock replace her man, a tattoo-covered cheater, with a gold trimmed Oscar. A few weeks after her March 10 Best Actress victory for “The Blind Side,” Sandy was blindsided by news her hubby Jesse James had a woman on the side.

“Big f—-ing deal” was not Vice President Biden’s unkind reaction to Sandy’s sorrows, but his caught-on-tape whispered words to President Obama at the March 24 signing of health care reform into law.

The only thing more ubiquitous than health care reform this year was Betty White, whose reemergence was partially spurned by an appearance as a crazy grandma in “The Proposal.” After a Facebook campaign to get the venerated “Golden Girls” goof on “Saturday Night Live,” White delighted fans with her May 8 hosting of SNL.

Fans were crushed when Lebron James made his “Decision” to leave the Cavs on July 8, a video which was parodied by Steve Carell, playing James, and Paul Rudd, playing the interviewer, who sat in the same wooden director’s chair as the originals and donned similar outfits. 

 “Jersey Shore” also brought heat to Miami when it premiered July 29, and a season of fist pumping, hair poofs and GTL ensued for guidos-in-training.

A much classier affair was that of the July 31 nuptials of Chelsea Clinton and her beau Marc Mezvinsky, which made the press obsess over pricey gluten-free cake and Bill’s mission to take off the pounds before walking his baby girl down the aisle.

 Lady Gaga and The Gregory Brothers brought a heat wave of technology to August, when the former took over as Twitter queen, and the latter finally got recognition for auto-tuning the news, courtesy of Antoine Dodson. On Aug. 20 the “Bed Intruder Song,” which auto-tuned now infamous Antoine Dodson’s feeling about the attempted rape of his sister, hit the web.

The fall chill brought the focus back to television where Oprah Winfrey gave away 300 trips to Australia on her Sept. 13 final season opener. 

“American Idol” executives thought America was waiting with baited breath for them to announce the bloated reality show’s new judges table, so they held a press conference on Sept. 22. It wasn’t completely bland though, as diva-from-the-block Jennifer Lopez thought judges’ threads should consist of a sequined jumpsuit. 

On Oct. 31, a television favorite went 3-D when Jon Stewart hosted his “Rally to Restore Sanity” in Washington D.C., a harmless jab at Glenn Beck’s summertime Tea Party “Rally to Restore Honor.” Stewart was joined by Comedy Central brother Steven Colbert who was there to “Keep Fear Alive.” Colbert is known for his “Chile, Chile” chants which honored the 33 miners who, after 69 days, were all successfully rescued on Oct 13.

Nov. 3 ended months of pre-election absurdities which became pop culture buzz, most notably Christine O’Donnell’s vow to all Americans that she didn’t have a certificate of attendance from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

The premiere of the latest Harry Potter installment “Deathly Hallows Part 1” hit the big screen on Nov. 19.

2010 certainly was a banner year for the Kim Kardashians of the world. YouTube videos like “Double Rainbow” got as much attention as the royal engagement of William and Kate, and it’s no surprise if this trend continues as internet and reality television allow for more people to rise to fame. In the words of the loquacious John Mayer on why he and girlfriend Jennifer Aniston split, “The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter,” he said. “I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998.” of times most notably by Grover of “Sesame Street.” 

America’s Sweetheart has no reason to buy that product, as March saw Sandra Bullock replace her man, a tattoo-covered cheater, with a gold trimmed Oscar.

A few weeks after her March 10 Best Actress victory for “The Blind Side,” Sandy was blindsided by news her hubby Jesse James had a woman on the side.

“Big f—-ing deal” was not Vice President Biden’s unkind reaction to Sandy’s sorrows, but his caught-on-tape whispered words to President Obama at the March 24 signing of health care reform into law.

The only thing more ubiquitous than health care reform this year was Betty White, whose reemergence was partially spurred by an appearance as a crazy grandma in “The Proposal.”

After a Facebook campaign to get the venerated “Golden Girls” goof on “Saturday Night Live,” White delighted fans with her May 8 hosting of SNL.

Fans were crushed when LeBron James made his “Decision” to leave the Cavs on July 8, a video which was parodied by Steve Carell, playing James, and Paul Rudd, playing the interviewer, who sat in the same wooden director’s chair as the originals and donned similar outfits. 

“Jersey Shore” also brought heat to Miami when it premiered July 29, and a season of fist pumping, hair poofs and GTL ensued for guidos-in-training.

A much classier affair was that of the July 31 nuptials of Chelsea Clinton and her beau Marc Mezvinsky, which made the press obsess over pricey gluten-free cake and Bill’s mission to take off the pounds before walking his baby girl down the aisle.

 Lady Gaga and The Gregory Brothers brought a heat wave of technology to August, when the former took over as Twitter queen, and the latter finally got recognition for auto-tuning the news, courtesy of Antoine Dodson.

On Aug. 20, the “Bed Intruder Song,” which auto-tuned now infamous Dodson’s feeling about the attempted rape of his sister, hit the Web.

The fall chill brought the focus back to television where Oprah Winfrey gave away 300 trips to Australia on her Sept. 13 final season opener. 

“American Idol” executives thought America was waiting with bated breath for them to announce the bloated reality show’s new judges table, so they held a press conference on Sept. 22.

It wasn’t completely bland, though, as diva-from-the-block Jennifer Lopez thought judges’ threads should consist of a sequined jumpsuit. 

On Oct. 31, a television favorite went 3-D when Jon Stewart hosted his “Rally to Restore Sanity” in Washington D.C., a harmless jab at Glenn Beck’s summertime Tea Party “Rally to Restore Honor.”

Stewart was joined by Comedy Central brother Steven Colbert, who was there to “Keep Fear Alive.”

Colbert is known for his “Chile, Chile” chants which honored the 33 miners who, after 69 days, were all successfully rescued on Oct 13.

Nov. 3 ended months of pre-election absurdities that became pop culture buzz, most notably Christine O’Donnell’s vow to all Americans that she didn’t have a certificate of attendance from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

The premiere of the latest Harry Potter installment “Deathly Hallows Part 1” hit the big screen Nov. 19.

2010 certainly was a banner year for the Kim Kardashians of the world. YouTube videos like “Double Rainbow” got as much attention as the royal engagement of William and Kate, and it’s no surprise if this trend continues as Internet and reality television allow for more people to rise to fame.

In the words of the loquacious John Mayer on why he and girlfriend Jennifer Aniston split, “The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter,” he said. “I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998.”

TESSY PAWLOWSKI

[email protected]