Editor reflects on people making unsensible choices

When I was in high school, I heard someone say one of the most ridiculous things involving a romantic relationship that I have ever heard.

At least that’s what I thought at the time. Since then, I have heard of occurrences similar to this at least three more times.

I usually think some of the things people do when they’re a part of a relationship are ridiculous, but I find this to be extraordinarily outrageous.

Three times in the past six years I have heard about someone trying to break up with his or her boyfriend/girlfriend and then say that the person they were trying to break up with would not let them break up with them.

I’m sorry. What?

If I heard about this just once in my entire life, I might have just passed it off thinking that it was an irregularity in relationships. But the fact that I’ve heard of this occurring more than once truly baffles me.

Aside from this just being incredibly foolish for one, if not both, parties, allow me to explain my viewpoint on this issue, so you can understand my reasoning.

A relationship involves mutual feelings for both parties. If one person wants to be in a relationship with the other person and the other person doesn’t, there really is no relationship. If there is, it’s a bad one.

It would be similar to a girl having a crush on a guy who doesn’t feel the same way, but she tells him he has to date her so he goes along with it. How does that make any sense?

It doesn’t.

So here is my advice to those of you who have been on the receiving end of this situation, or those of you who may be on the receiving end at some point.

If you are dating someone whom you want to break up with, and they tell you you’re not allowed to break up with them when you try to, run. Run far away in the other direction.

Not literally, but you need to let them sort this out for themselves.

If you have ever been or will ever be someone who tells the person breaking up with you that they’re not allowed to do so, read this and keep it in the back of your mind forever.

You cannot force relationships to work. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, then you have to accept it. They don’t want to be with you.

In all honesty, why would you want to stay with somebody who really doesn’t like you and would rather be dating other people? Chances are you have better things you could be worrying about than someone else’s opinion about you.

I understand this is easier said than done, but you can’t tell people that they have to stay in a relationship with you. That’s not how relationships work.

Most break-ups aren’t mutual agreements, but people just have to deal with it.

Aside from that, just because someone needs your approval to be in a relationship with you, does not mean they need your permission to break up with you.

This whole concept doesn’t make sense. If you’re one of these people who have done this, stop. Take time to yourself and eventually you’ll find someone whom you won’t have to force to stay with you.

 

KHADIJA DJELLOULI

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