Editor falls to pieces while analyzing phonics of Reese’s

Reese’s Cups are in the top echelon of the most satisfying food items ever created.

They were designed with a completely flawless execution in the chocolate to peanut butter ratio. This is a universal truth – I have yet to meet a sane person who thinks otherwise.

One thing that is up for debate, though, is the actual pronunciation.

After naming the Hershey prodigy after the candy’s creator, H. B. Reese – which you can verify on Wikipedia – the name has been solidly and confidently butchered by the general public ever since.

Sometimes I wonder how the people who work at Reese’s can still find the will to get up in the morning with such blatant errors occurring across the globe.

I doubt the Reese family or the Hershey higher-ups expected the decades of struggle with the simple pronunciation of the name that would follow.

I have met people with the last name Reese. I have never met someone who pronounces it “Reesie.” Reesie sounds like it might work for the nickname of a dog or a juvenile delinquent.

And yet, I find that I am among the throngs of people who crave this candy but can’t pronounce the name right. I mean, I can pronounce it right. I just choose not to. The rules of phonics don’t seem to apply in this situation.

I’ve long passed the point where I know I’m wrong, but I simply don’t care. I’ve been saying it wrong for far too long.

I admire the company’s executives, though, in spite of it all. I admire their clever attempts to try and get people to realize the error of pronouncing it “Reesie’s Cups.” The ploy of trying to redeem the delicious chocolatey treat by coming up with another candy that’s almost equally as scrumptious was nearly genius.

Reese’s Pieces. Seems like a logical, easy solution to this epic problem.

Sadly for them, though, this would prove to be just another failed attempt to get the educated people around the world to pronounce Reese’s properly. Yeah, sure, Reese’s should rhyme with the word pieces, but altering the pronunciation of the word pieces is much more logical.

Plus, “Reesies Piecies” just sounds a whole lot more appetizing.

As a voracious chocolate consumer and language lover, I consider myself more adept than most at distinguishing the most appealing candy names. I would definitely rather eat “piecies” than “pieces.” In fact, when I eat “piecies,” I don’t just stop at one “piecie.” Impossible. I can eat a whole bag of them.

With pieces, on the other hand, it’s easy enough to just have a single piece and set the bag down.

Plus, you literally can’t help but smile when you say “Reesie’s Piecies.” Try it.

It’s really all very well reasoned, if you think about it.

The only time I have ever contemplated correcting myself is when I place an order at Cold Stone and find that I’m almost embarrassed to be saying the word “piecies” to a complete stranger. But somehow, they still manage to get my order right, so I’m really not that concerned.



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