Disney songs turn walk into journey through childhood

Disney songs are getting me through this bitterly cold winter. It all started when my 3-year-old niece was being a real jerk on Sunday. She wanted to see Jasmine on my computer, so I got on YouTube for her, and we watched “A Whole New World.”

Then I saw a video for “Colors of the Wind” on the sidebar, so I thought we could move on. But she was adamant that we only watch Jasmine. And I wanted to be like, “Hey, I wanna watch Pocahontas and John Smith jump through waterfalls and stuff,” but since I was kind of the adult in the situation, I let her have her way.

But later I listened to “Colors of the Wind” on my iPod as I walked my dingy little mutt. Typically when I walk Spot, I consider it my duty to freak out my neighbors by busting out some of my best moves to the hypnotic rhythms on my iPod.

Usually, I’m pretty Ace, but recently I was beat in the creeping-out-neighbors-department by a large, naked man sitting on his couch, who stared out of his open window at me, as I walked my dog.

I stared back at him – hoping to shame him into looking down – but he continued to stare. After I realized he had no shame, I looked down quickly and hightailed it down the street, fearing that Nude Dude and I had just shared an unintentional “moment.”

Disney Listening Trip was much less frightening. As my dog angrily pulled me along – focused on peeing and sniffing the ground for scents of other doggies – I had my head firmly planted in the clouds, or rather it was planted with Hercules, son of cloud-dweller, Zeus.

If I ever get rich, forget the in-home Starbucks, I want a gospel-styling Greek chorus around me at all times to sing to me about my accomplishments, if I ever get any.

And to keep things hero-related, next I marched with Mulan to “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.” Mulan is by far my favorite princess. Don’t get me started on the whole “she’s not a princess thing.” It’s like Anne Hathaway told me in “Princess Diaries 2” – something about, to be a princess you’ve just got to believe you are a princess, whatever that means.

Anyway, I’ve always believed Mulan was a princess. In eighth grade I was part of a Mulan fan club. We made up a pledge and we all had to learn the correct lyrics to “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.” It had pretty rigid rules, which is why it only had three people.

During my walk, I also couldn’t help but give a shout out to Ariel, who isn’t quite as awesome as Mulan, but I must like, as she is a fellow ginger. “Look at this stuff; isn’t it neat,” I sang to the bag of dog poop I carried.

I could go on and on here, but instead, I suggest you stop reading this and throw on some Disney tunes, yourself. Hakuna Matata.


[email protected]