Contemplation of gore, world without TV seems bloody terrible

If there’s one thing I’ve learned this week, it’s never attempt to watch “Nip/Tuck” and eat dinner at the same time. That will never end well.

I have only recently been introduced to the show, and though I pretty much abhor plastic surgery and everything it stands for – which is what the show is essentially about, in case you didn’t know – I cannot. Stop. Watching.

It’s gross. I’ve never watched a more graphic show, when it comes to the actual surgeries. I don’t understand how those brilliant behind-the-scenes people make everything look so real. I don’t think I particularly like it, either.

Like, for example, when Sean and Christian, the surgeons, perform an operation to make a blind girl’s milky eyes look un-blind – it looks so real. Aside: I don’t know why she really cares; I mean, how does she even know that her eyes look weird, anyway?

I had to turn the show off and watch an episode of “Rugrats” while I nibbled my mac ‘n cheese, and then continue the episode after digestion was well under way. I have a pretty strong stomach, but those eyes almost provided for a very messy living room.

But, even after that little experience, I still cannot stop watching the show. It’s riveting in the kind of way that makes you want to drop everything you’ve ever worked for and become a behind-the-scenes TV person.

Actually, I’ve been finding a lot of shows captivating lately. I gave up on “Glee” in the fall, and I took up “Grey’s Anatomy” for about the fourth time instead. Of course, I need a good dose of “Family Guy” every now and then, too.

And then there’s “Sons of Anarchy.” I’m in the third season and I’m not even sure that I like it – but I keep telling Netflix to show me the next episode anyway.

This brings me to an essential question: How in this wonderful world would I survive without TV? It’s normal for people to consider what our species did before computers and the Internet, God forbid, because most people of my generation literally would not be able to survive without those things. But TV? I don’t know – I’m pretty glued to it.

I don’t even consider myself a television-dependent person. I probably watch about seven or eight hours per week, which I don’t think is that bad. I mean, I know some people who watch a lot more than that. But I have no idea how I would spend my time without it.

I already read plenty of books, I do all my homework and I generally get enough sleep to keep me moving. But there are certain times that I just want to watch “Nip/Tuck” or “Family Guy,” and not do anything else.

If I were to give TV up for Lent this year, how would I fill up those eight hours each week? Honestly, what would I do if TV did not exist for my watching pleasure?

As we all know from my previous columns, I’m certainly not going to attempt creative writing.

I could listen to music, but there’s not much to LOOK at when you’re doing that – it gets boring, and then I fall asleep, and then I’ve wasted a bunch of time. Time, mind you, that I could have been awake watching a TV that hypothetically doesn’t exist.

I guess I could take on a project – maybe learn to draw or start doing yoga – but neither of those examples fit into the mindless entertainment quota that my TV time takes up.

So maybe I will give up TV this Lent, even just to see how long I last. I’d have to finish up the rest of the series of “Nip/Tuck” before I make any promises, though.


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