The Student News Site of Gannon University since 1947


The Student News Site of Gannon University since 1947


The Student News Site of Gannon University since 1947


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September 22, 2023

Justice in paintballing drive-by eludes editor for time being

The day had finally come. Months had passed since the incident in which I was brutally paintball-gunned down by a carload of masked villains, and the day of the trial had finally arrived.

I almost completely forgot about the fact that I had gotten a subpoena to be a witness at the trial for these clowns, until I flipped the page in my planner to the current week and saw my own handwriting spelling out, in huge letters, DRIVE-BY TRIAL 2:30 p.m.

After that moment, only one thing was on my mind for the rest of the day: vengeance.

Finally, the pain and suffering I experienced in the form of a giant welt and stained clothing were going to be assuaged.

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I met my two fellow witnesses at the courthouse, and we were definitely all feeling like VIPs.

It was my second time stepping foot in a courthouse. It felt good to be on the side of the prosecution this time, as opposed to being a 17-year-old delinquent  getting lectured for having a need-for-speed after doing 87 in a 60.

We made it through security with little hassle, and marched through the halls toward the assigned courtroom.

We finally got to the room, signed in, and waited to see what would happen next.

My faith in justice was about to be shaken to its core.

A lady stormed out of the room next to where we were standing, and by the look on her face, I knew something was wrong.

She said that due to causes outside of her control, there was going to have to be a continuance of the trial.

I thought I must have misheard and asked her to clarify.

Basically, we had wasted all that time, left class early and  called off work only to be told we were free to go. That wouldn’t have been so bad at all, except for the fact that there was one huge catch.

We now are expected to sit around and wait to receive  yet another subpoena in the mail, who knows when, which is going to force us to sacrifice more of our time on another day.

If that day happens to fall over any of the holiday breaks coming up in the next few months, I can guarantee the next time I’ll appear in court won’t be as a witness for this trial.

I hear the legal system doesn’t take kindly to failure to appear for court summons.

They might as well throw some cuffs on me now. Because I will flat-out refuse to make a completely unnecessary drive back from Cleveland because the people at the courthouse decided that the trial for this misdemeanor, which occurred back in August, could be further postponed.

The guys are pleading guilty anyways, and I definitely couldn’t pick them out of a line-up. They were wearing masks.

Maybe if they slapped on said masks, I could figure out which ones did it. But I’m guessing that would be unlikely.

Seriously though, I’m a college student with better things to do than to attend the trial of some random hoodlums that decided to go on a paintballing spree – though I must say, the wolf masks were definitely movie quality. Props to them for that.

At this point, I don’t even care to see them punished. I vote we just get this over with and turn it into something we can get together and laugh about years later.

“Hey, remember that one time I shot you with a paintball gun?”

Good times.


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