Guest Editorial: Life of a Facebook Addict

I just can’t stop myself.

Whether I’m at home, in class, in my car, or even in the gym, I need to have it.  My hands shake, heart races, and head pounds when I’ve been away from it for too long, and it’s the only thing on my mind when it’s not within my reach.  When it comes to classifying this addiction, I’d say I’m a stage five addict.

No, I’m not talking about alcohol; I’m talking about a much worse obsession: My obsession with Facebook.  Like the other 800 million victims of this addiction, my life is being destroyed by its effects on my work habits and social skills.

Whether you’re a first-time user or a seasoned abuser, I’m sure you can agree that the creators of Facebook were geniuses in creating the most popular social networking site in the world, but I’m also sure that you can agree that it is one of the biggest wastes of time available to society.

Of course there are many great features, including instant connections to people around the world, but given the fact that most people spend almost six hours on Facebook every day, I’d say that a majority of that time is wasted growing crops on their imaginary farms or photo creeping on the newest Facebook official couple. As a veteran Facebook addict myself, I can attest to the mind-numbing power this website has over its users and have proof of this power in the hours of homework I have neglected in exchange for some intense Facebook creeping.

I guess you could say it’s the McDonald’s of the Internet.  Not only can users refresh the homepage every few minutes to see a new status update, a constant ticker is now available that offers second-by-second updates on their friends’ activities.  No wonder students have such poor study habits these days; who wouldn’t be entranced by the ticker’s constant movement?

It is so easy for students and adults alike to be lost in this virtual world of wall posts and photo comments, leading them to neglect the real world and its pressing concerns.  I mean who really cares about the current economic crisis when their friend count is dropping faster than the Dow Jones?

If this epidemic is not stopped soon, I think zoned-out Facebook users will create a zombie apocalypse long before 2012.  Instead of using bats and shovels to combat the zombies, we will need to recruit the few and the brave to battle them with the activation of a nuclear bomb of epic proportions: the turning off of their computers.

I think it’s time for us to admit that Facebook is creating monsters out of us all.

I guess there is one bright side to this epidemic however; no matter how many status updates, picture uploads, or wall posts we make, at least we can sleep easy at night knowing that we are not using Twitter.


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