February 23, 2024/Midnight
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word control (noun) can be defined as, “The fact or power of directing and regulating the actions of people or things; direction, management; command.”
Control is something we all wish to have. At the end of the day, it makes us feel like we have it all together in any situation. I love to have control. In fact, in most settings, I try to be in control.
My mentality has always been if you don’t like the way something is done, do it yourself. When I set my mind to a task and envision the outcome, that’s what I am going to achieve no matter how hard I must work for it.
Recently, this has been my downfall. I have helped establish a plan, and it is hard for others to execute it except for a select few. You may be wondering, is the plan faulty? Good question, but no. When I picture the plans for this event in my mind it is elaborate and encapsulates the theme perfectly.
I feel as if I must differentiate between the terms being in control and controlling. The word controlling has a negative connotation and associates an individual as being manipulative or overbearing whereas being in control has a positive connotation. I would describe this term as though you were driving a car. As the driver, you have the final decision as to where you end up. You may miss a few turns and end up at the wrong destination, but you can reroute and get back on track.
In group settings, I like to be the driver rather than the passenger. I like to believe that life is a solo trip, and I can reach the destination myself. Although, we all know this isn’t true. A good road trip is best with company.
Here’s my advice to get where you are trying to end up and to pick the best “passengers” for the journey:
Rule number 1. Appreciate that people are willing to help you. This is the most important thing. Do not try to assume you can do everything by yourself. The amount of pressure from assuming all this responsibility can be debilitating. Slowly but surely, you’ll get in a rut, and boom, the car crashes, and now the destination is not attainable.
Rule number 2. Assess the group’s strengths and weaknesses. As a person who loves a good to-do list, gather all the tasks, and begin allocating them to individuals. I find this hard because there is always something I have the urge to fix after I see the final product. Someone might not have seen the vision as though I did. Remember, one wrong turn isn’t going to crash the car, there are always alternative routes to the destination.
Rule number 3. Clearly communicate the tasks and expectations. As the leader, you should establish a plan, with help of course, but make sure everything that your team does has your approval. If the plan is not clear, people will assume responsibilities and the vision will get muddied. This will not end up well. It is as though each person in the car is giving directions but for alternative routes to the same destination. Heads up. The driver will get confused. The car will never get to the destination everyone is trying to reach with clashing ideas. This trip will be short because this car will crash quickly.
Rule number 4. Don’t be afraid to admit mistakes. We are all human, and we all screw up. Transparency is the key to success. If you have a supportive team, they’ll help you get back on track. Getting a flat tire never stops the trip. Have someone replace the flat with the spare tire in the trunk and keep going. The only thing that is affected is the estimated arrival time.
Rule number 5. It is okay to switch between being the driver and the passenger. If someone is more knowledgeable about a task let them take the lead on that aspect of the project. On a long road trip, you’ll have to change drivers at some point. No one can drive endlessly without getting fatigued.
At the end of the day, the destination is always feasible. With motivation, clear intentions, and the right passengers, the trip will be fun. Remember, don’t focus on the road too much. Appreciate the things you see along the way.
