Everything is Going Wrong, Now What?

Charlize Harding, News Editor

Erie, Pa, February 14, 2023—One thing after the other. It feels as though bad things are happening to you and life is just laughing at you.

I can tell you right now, January and beginning of February were not my favorite. Within three weeks, three not so great things happened to me.

My relationship ended in a complicated way, I had a personal relationship show their true colors, and I got into a car accident.

I lost my partner, my friend, and my car.

Three major things in my life, gone within three short weeks.

Right now, it feels like the end of the world. As though there is no way I am going to make it out of this personal hell.

The only thing I can seem to do right now is fake it until I make it.

Let’s talk about how to do that.

I wake up, I do my morning routine then head to class. After class, I do homework, then I move on to work or my extracurricular activities. In between these routine aspects of my life, I eat a snack or a meal.

I go back to my routine, while not diminishing the emotions I am feeling.

I am not one to pretend to not know that I am an incredibly emotional person. I feel my pain, I listen to my hurt, I allow myself too not be okay.

And that is exactly what I am doing. While I am faking it, going back to my routine, doing things with friends, when I am alone, and thinking, I allow myself to grieve.

I allow myself to hurt, to cry, to scream, to journal and write poems about the same thing I have been writing about for the last three to four weeks.

Allowing yourself to feel these heavy-set emotions is the first step to being okay.

I am grieving my romantic relationship, I am grieving my friendship, I am grieving my car.

This is all okay. Reminding myself that it is okay to hurt, to let it out, is something I must do, it’s something most of us must do.

Telling others that it is okay to be hurt, to cry, to not be okay is way different than telling yourself the same thing.

Most things are easier said than done, it takes a lot from a person to say “I am not okay. I need to not be okay, probably for a while. I need to allow myself to feel this pain; I need to grieve.”

By even saying “I am not okay.” It is a big step for most people.

I can write all the articles about how to move on, how to grieve, what to do, but the truth is: I do not even know.

I do not know the “proper” or “right” way to grieve, how to be okay, how to move on. I do not know. I can only write what I am doing, how I am feeling, how I am on the road to being okay.

Let’s talk about my version of being on the road to being okay.

I got back into a routine, refocused on my studies (because no way is a boy standing in the way of my degree). I keep up with household and personal chores. I spend free time with real friends, I try not to be alone too often.

I speak to a counselor, I write in my journal, I write poems, articles, and I cry when I need to.

I find that when I am fully alone, with nothing to do, that is when it is the hardest. Limiting the time, I am all alone is easier than actually staying alone.

That being said, being alone can actually help the grieving process. For me, I am not yet at the stage where I am okay being completely alone with myself.

If you feel like everything is going wrong, no matter how big, no matter how small, no matter the severity of it, don’t lock it in. Do not keep it to yourself to deal with.

Talk to someone, whether it is a friend, professor, family, or counselor. Remember that you have a support team. Even if it does not seem like it, you have a whole fanbase of people routing for you, who just want you to be okay.

Even if you need to talk to a stranger, sometimes I find that it is sometimes easier, if an outsider with no context is what you need, there are people on campus that are more than happy to be that third party.

Take advantage of the resources on campus. Go to the relaxation room, talk to a counselor, go through Timely Care; do not stay alone and hide away. Even if that is what is easier in the moment.

If you take anything from this article, know that you will be okay, you will come out stronger, you will be more than okay.