Regrets of not pursuing theater

With the rise of Tik Tok recently also comes the rise of theater kids showcasing their talents on the app.
My favorite types of Tik Toks to watch are the ones where people showcase the roles they auditioned for and the ones they received. During this the user sings a snippet of the song they auditioned for and the one they end up singing.
These are quite entertaining since you get to see not only their talent, but also the sometimes dramatic results of the role they did or did not receive.
In most I have watched, they auditioned for the lead and often receive the role of a smaller part or even ensemble.
My favorite account to watch is a girl by the name of Meg, her username being @meglevv.
Meg is a musical theater major who posts multiple videos of her performing roles she has received and her dream roles.
I often watch her videos when I am bored and need some entertainment. Something about hearing a true talent like that brings me joy that I feel when I see live performances.
However, sometimes these make me sad because I wish I had done theater in high school.
Getting to dress up, put on a show and then invading a Denny’s at 3 a.m. with my best friends just sounds like a fun time to me.
I guess the reason I never really persuaded this was my stage fright. To anyone who knows me, this is quite ironic as to the fact that I never stop talking.
I have had stage fright since I was young. I’m not sure what brought on this fear, but it has never gone away.
There is nothing I dread more than having to stand up and talk in front of a large group of people.
Sometimes I get sick thinking about having to talk in front of my friends in formal settings.
My junior year of high school, I decided to take the first step and joined the tech department and did some backstage work.
Of course with my luck, I had to run onstage at the end of the performance and move something before the lights went out.
To no surprise, I froze during the first show until he light went out. Somewhere there is a clip of this happening and I hope to never see it. The next two performances, I said I was sick and never came back.
As much as this performance scared me, I still sometimes wish I could put away the fear and get on a stage and sing my heart out.
My dream roles are Rizzo from “Grease,” Maureen from “RENT,” Elle Woods from “Legally Blonde,” Ariel from “The Little Mermaid” and Regina George from “Mean Girls.”
For anyone reading this and thinking it’s not too late to pursue this, I can safely say that it is.
I am passionate about singing, but I am more passionate about my writing that I do.
Hiding behind a laptop or notebook and writing what I feel will always be my most comfortable performance aspect.
Although I cannot get on stage and perform their songs, I still belt them out in the shower every night.
Good luck to my roommates and future husband who will hear these on a loop.

[email protected]