Since my last column two weeks ago, I have been thinking about some of the reasons that I write as much as I do. The feedback that I got from friends and family on that column particularly meant the world to me.
After losing someone with whom I was extremely close, that was the only thing I was able to write about. I was able to sit down and write about everything that I was feeling in that moment. That got me thinking about all of the reasons I decided writing is what I want to do for the rest of my life, as cliché as that might sound.
Over the last few months, I have felt as though I was losing the passion to write that I used to have. I considered possibly changing my major, switching schools and starting over. Now I realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
Doing the things that I care about, writing included, has not always been something that I found to be that important. Especially since starting college, I have been feeling as though I should be doing something bigger than just writing because I love to do it.
Writing had become something that I looked at strictly as a job that I am expected to do. That was always one of my worst fears when I chose to come to school for journalism instead of keeping writing as something that I only did for fun. I never wanted writing to just be a job. I never wanted to lose what writing has always meant for me. I wanted to find time to write creatively like I used to, but I had a lot of trouble doing that for a long time.
Sometimes I feel like the odd one out of my friend group because of what I decided to study. At Gannon, I am surrounded by friends who are constantly overwhelmed with work for their science or business classes. Admittedly, sometimes I feel kind of silly when I try to explain to them all of the stress that I have to deal with.
After these last few weeks and being able to really think about what writing means to me, I feel like I have a whole new passion for it. After what felt like a full year of insane writers block, writing is starting to mean a lot to me again. It is starting to become my way of showing my emotions. I am realizing why I chose to pursue any type of career in writing in the first place.
Writing has become one of my major emotional outlets again. I do not think it has been that way for a while, but since writing my last column, I find it a lot easier to write things that I actually care about. I was finally reminded of how it feels to write down everything I am feeling at a given time.
I am finally starting to feel more comfortable with my major and what I plan to do with the rest of my life. I think I can start to find a balance between writing to pass and writing for my own enjoyment.
I am honestly excited to see how I can use this new passion to my advantage. I plan to keep writing as much as I can. I also think I want to try to write creatively again whenever I get the chance. Anything to keep this passion alive now that I have found it again.
HARLEE BOEHM
