I may or may not be on the verge of a breakdown

I may or may not be on the verge of a breakdown

Do you ever feel like you’re going crazy? Like you are legitimately, one-more-bad-thing-getting-piled-on-to-your-load-of-crap away from going full on “Girl, Interrupted?”
I do. More – a lot more – than I’d like to admit.
I like to play it off like I’m calm, cool and collected – but if you’ve ever spent more than five minutes around me, you’d know that I am anything but calm, cool and collected.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I want to pull my hair out, take an indefinite vacation to some remote place where nobody can find me, drop out of college, pretend I don’t exist or all of the above.
This is my third year of college, so I know how the end of the semester works, but this semester is really getting to me.
It feels like I just keep getting rained on – I’ve got to go to work, take care of responsibilities at school, go to my classes, keep up with my internship, do my homework, plan and study for finals, write 342 papers, make up missed assignments, find a cure for cancer and also figure out how to stop global warming – all by next week.
And to top it off, I was sick with a mixture of the flu, a cold and a sinus infection for the past week and couldn’t even talk for the entire weekend – which was a relief to my friends and family – but drove me crazy.
But in the midst of all that, I was sitting in WERG’s studio for my weekly radio show and was writing down the weather for my upcoming forecast.
The chance of rain showers was about 70 percent, but looking outside you would think the weatherman got it wrong. The sun was shining brightly on the busy street, the birds were chirping and there was a gentle breeze.
I’m usually – well, almost always – a cynical person. But as I was looking out the window, I got a feeling of hope and optimism – two things that I don’t usually feel very often.
Even though there was a 70 percent chance that the weather would be horrible, it was beautiful outside.
It made me think that even though it may seem stormy and it may seem like things are taking a turn for the worst, life doesn’t always end up playing out the way you might think it would – sometimes good things do happen.
Good things happen, but you have to be open to seeing them and you have to be patient enough to wait for them.
Even if it feels like your life is ripping apart at the seams and you feel like you’re going to lose your mind and you’re missing 789 assignments because you chose to sleep instead of work and you really just feel like sleeping the next year away instead of living it – things do and will get better. You just have to keep it together for a little while longer.
I may be on the brink of becoming the next girl who’s interrupted, but I’m keeping it together – for now.
SAMANTHA GRISWOLD
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